Asset 1 hunter casablanca mastGeneral envision VidantHealth HunterIndustrial Lexmark Teradata ValuePlace Xerox

Office Sports: Ping-Pong Weekly

by Samantha Davis
  • culture
  • fun
  • game
  • office sports
  • Ping-Pong
  • tournament

Player profile: Justin Alvis aka “Dirty Drain”

Macaroni & Cheese. CSS and HTML. Simon and Garfunkel. As considering these items one without the other would be a travesty to mankind, so too is the consideration of Ntara without Ping-Pong.

Normal offices feature the bubbling of a water cooler. The smell of stale, cheap coffee permeates through the staff kitchen. Generic patterned, industrial grade and mysteriously stained Berber carpet adorns the floor. These *highly desirable* (read heinous) elements are a part of all office environments. But the defining strand of Ntara’s fabric is the consistent bounce of a plastic ball hitting another solid piece of matter—floor, paddle, table or human flesh.

The established protégés of Ntara’s Ping-Pong Tournament are serious about their craft. And we’re not talking about their code, aesthetic masterpieces, or account management abilities. We’re talking about skills. Cold, hard, “Ping-Pong-Game-So-Good-You-Wanna-Slap-Your-Mama,” skills.

To truly articulate Ntara’s passion, rather, expertise, in the distinguished game of Ping-Pong, it’s best to hear from the masters themselves—our players. Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear wrinkled shirts, practical shoes and Dad Bods. You’ll get exclusive insight into the mind of these hungry, super-freaks. You’ll hear about their physiological advantages and anatomically predisposed greatness.

Move over, Michael Phelps. Ntara’s Ping-Pong players are here to rule the roost as the world’s most incredible athletes.

First up, we’ve got a hometown hero, Justin Alvis, or "Dirty Drain" as he’s known around the table. His shots are clean, but his game is filthy. Justin hails from Jonesborough, TN, where Ping-Pong is a way of life and paddles are often hand-hewn from the heart of Tennessee Oak trees. When asked about his competition, Justin remarks, “I’m incredibly self-aware. At under 6’0 tall, I have to be. Some players are more concerned with points won on the table, but I’m pleased if I get the most steps over my competition on my Garmin Fenix 3. Keeps the bar low and heart rate up.”

Height: 5’10*

Weight: Unknown; scales are scary.

Favorite game time moment or all-time crowning achievement as a player: Breaking two paddles using my favorite shot: BTBWS-Baby Touch Back Wall Shot. (Don’t ask…)

Pre-game ritual: Slack smack messaging.

Famous athlete Sport idol: Mary Lou Retton. I’ve really found my center by reading her book Gateways to Happiness: 7 Ways to a More Peaceful, More Prosperous, More Satisfying Life. Also, #hairgoals.

Victory dance move: Stanky Leg

Best nutrition tips: I drink lots of Dr. Enuf. It’s got all my daily essential vitamins for a growing boy like me.

Any sponsors who support you? Dr. Evil and his Evil Alpaca Empire that costs $1 million.

Included in your support system back home: My smoking hot wife, Cicely, and 17 dogs.

What would your parents/loved ones have to say about your ping pong game: "What can you tell me 'bout hustlin' that I don't know."

*Editor’s note-that’s debatable.

Continue to check right back here as we feature a new player every couple of weeks. These champions have a lot to say, and it’s finally their turn to talk.

Looking for something?